Madness

What if life was normal, what if normal was to be mad
Sorry to hear of the grievance of you Beefy, pains not pretend
It's takes quit a lot these days to make me seem surprised
Let's face it, there's not much that's left to get some prize

Once this site was rocking, with waiting to join chat
Now it's as dormant as a innocent squashed rat
To win a tournament was an achievement in its own
Now it's no more awkward then throwing a dog a bone

Just look at the government, is it any wonder I don't trust anyone
But if you spoil my fun, keep running, that's what I tell my son
You can only get away, with so much lies in live
Why do you bother I don't see it adds spice

Yes I like a Curry but after comes the pain
But then people tell you that without no pain, no gain
It easy to say, I'm going to the gym
For me it's not even to try to get thin

In life we get angry and at times were sad
But theres noone that can say, they've never felt sad
It's all part of living, it's what makes you unique
Even if like Paula you still chew your feet

Now, the time has come for me to have some fun
That's leaving funky till the morning does come
There will be a few bottles and I powder my nose
Please remember that my money, to charities it goes

Big hugs and support to my bestie, after such a lose
At such a young age too, makes me feel cross
If the Lord was real, why would he do such a thing
Maybe I'm better off never meeting him, evil so called King
Colin

Edited at 22:20 Sat 09/04/16 (BST)

God Created Woman

Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender,
Round and firm and ever so tender,
Lovely slim hips to increase his desire,
Rounded and firm to bring out the fire,
Two lovely breasts, so full and so proud,
Commanding his eyes, as he whispers aloud,
Two lovely arms, just aching to bless you,
Two loving hands, to soothe and caress you,
Soft, long hair hung down over her shoulder,
And two dreamy eyes, just to make him grow bolder,
'Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing,
Then God added a mouth, and ruined the whole damn thing

Edited at 23:12 Sat 09/04/16 (BST)

LOL I've read that before - funny poem.

Classic and so fk in true, goes for men too till they added that sock.

Time to be silly,
Mighta had a wee drink,
Gonna order maybe a double round,
Tell me all....waddaya think?

What do I think, I think it sounds cool
But when we're both from Norn Iron, we ain't no fools
It's a pity that life consists of such tools
I never, well rarely, intentionally break rules

I'm sorry if people finds my poems offensive
But don't them idiots in parliament, sit on benches ?
Don't believe a word, most of them say
They all have their heads in a bale of hay

I just write what I think, and think what I say
It's not my fault that people made the world this way
I just hope and dream for a world of peace
With sick people well and the violence to cease

If I'm in the wrong, I'll put up my hand
I'm not one to bury my head in the sand
So if I can make one person happy, that's one less sad
Then maybe someday I'll not be mad

Colin

Love them!

Thanks Paula, all the poems make me smile, I don't care when people say mine make members cry

I'm gutted, but love you all, life's too short..

Colin x

It's been a few days since I've stopped by,
Thought I'd pop my head in just to say hi,
I'm taken aback at how quiet it's been,
Looking around, no one to be seen,
Can't believe you guys are committing the crime,
Of depriving us of your genius rhyme

Hello im here so ill leave a post
Altho it wont be needing a toast
It wont be genius or good quality
At least its something here to see
All ya's are getting is short an sweet
Just like moi with me size 3 feet

'Last Night?'

Banter - acceptable or just an excuse?
To have some fun or a way to reduce
The real meaning for having their say
But try to seclude their message in this crafty way.

Be positive with others
Stop with the attacks
For many like to give it
But just can't seem to handle it back

Belittling or arguing just isn't good for the game
It's not attracting new players to this site
Let's try and work altogether with the same aim
For we never know, this could be our last night

(modified a little...more apt now IMO)

All I do on funky is talk crap and play pool
Whether winning or losing kick back and stay cool
Sometimes people take banter as a plain assault
I just toss it over my shoulder like a grain of salt
We're just trying to have fun but yous keep acting up
Let's just go grab a table man and freaking Rack Em Up

Edited at 18:37 Fri 22/04/16 (BST)

Dedicated to the one I love, this is dedicated to the one I love.


There was a young lady called lion dah
Who at pool was playing a blyen dah
So distracted by balls
She ignored all my calls
So sad to be back on Tyen dah

There was a young lady called Sandi
Whose mind is pure and clear
Never randy
Even peeling a cucumber
she thinks of salad
not the horizontal rumba
And by me that's just fine
That's just Dandy

love them

Seven days have now gone by
And nobodys posted i wonder why
Id love to read a poem each day
From those taking a break from play

Here I sit,
On the wrong side of the bar,
Watching lots of eejits,
Drinking copious amounts n going too far,
I'll sit here sober,
Have some craic and a laugh,
Just one pint for me,
When finally it's time......to sign aff

when I was young
my mother broke into song
such was the noise
it was pain full to hear

she would carry on
through adversity
many of us screaming no more
she would say just one more

Tom Jones, the Batchelor's and many more
how many times would she sing
knock three times
when making that awful din

the door would knock
my mother would stop
look in dismay
to ever dared make her stop

it was the postman
delivering a letter
then she would pick it up
and then another song would ring out

oh no we thought here it comes
a full rendition
of wait minute Mr Postmaaaaaaaaaaaaaan
oh no we would shriek

I'm so pleased we grew up
but I've got to say
she is now in a nursing home
how I wish I could still hear her songs

The Blueberry Poem/Song

I'm here longer than your average,
Mods remove my posts cause they think they're savage,
But I don't think they stink, they're just instigators,
My fellow Funkypool players,
They're just trying to be account slayers,
Yeah right, if the head right, they're at it everynight,
Blueberry been smooth since days of just UK pool,
Never lose, never choose to, bruise crews who
Do something to us, talk go through us,
Mods walk to us, wanna do us, screw us,
Who us? Yeah, Blueberry and Puff,
Close like Starsky and Hutch, Take the huff,
Dare I say one more time just ban me,
You can do it so easily,
Recently mods ain't sayin' nuttin', so I just
Speak my piece, keep my piece
Cubans with the Jesus piece , with my peeps
Packin', askin' who want it, you got it Nick flaunt it
That Funkypool bullcrap, we on it

Admin, Admin, Admin can't you see,
That I just want you to hurry up and ban me,
And I just hate your flashy ways,
Just hurry up and do what I say

Admin, Admin, Admin can't you see,
That I just want you to hurry up and ban me,
And I just love hate flashy ways,
Just hurry up and do what I say.

At first he was afraid, now he's petrified,
Hurry up and get banned blueberry you're letting down the side,
He spent so many nights trying to figure out what he's done wrong,
I thought he grew strong, but it seems I was wrong,
He's been faking he wants banned all along,

And now I, have just got to laugh,
Please pack it in blueberry you're making yourself look daft,
If you really want rid off your account mate,
You should just deactivate,
So after 10 years it turns out your account will survive,
It will survive,
It will surviveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Edited at 15:24 Tue 03/05/16 (BST)