Today the sun came out to play
It burned the top of me feet
I kid u not
It was so hot
Am almost as orange as Pete

A poem is needed so a poem I'll do
It could turn out great or be a load of poo
But at least one is trying to not let it die
Even tho you lot just pass it on by

I've said it before,
And I'll say it again,
Now what was it I was saying,
Oh yes, I'm completely insane!

Sandwiches filled until they're bulging,
With dishwasher tablets and lots of pills,
This concoction is sure to clean you,
May even burn you, causing spills!

In contradiction to any previous statement,
The truth it may, or may not, be found,
Ask Dougal about the cows way out in the distance,
The Two Ronnies, Fork Handles...it just astounds.

P&K

In a virtual world there were two blokes,
Who passed the time with insulting jokes.
Digging and fighting like two little brothers,
Until they realised their love for each other.

Kirk would wake up and be thinking of Pete,
Of drawing his baths and massaging his feet.
Pete would lie awake at night thinking of Kirk,
Outside of his residence is where Pete would lurk.

They'd take picnics together and go for long walks,
Find little buttercups and pick them all at the stalks.
On a Sunday evening Pete would put on his roast,
In the morning Kirk would cook up eggs and toast.

A happy existence, they were together in bliss,
Always greeting one another with a big sloppy kiss!
Lock-down love is what they called it, no better thing,
For two young gentlemen that made each others hearts sing.

Class

Scarily spot on lmfao

Haha!

So the G man returns with another class poem
Blows all others outta the park
It was about Pete
An Kirk kissin his feet
Out of the closet an outta the dark!





Welcome back Ricardo

Funky-P

If you've been here a long time logging onto this site,
Whether it be in the morning or late on at night.
Playing some pool, or simply having a chat,
Enjoying some laughter or even having a spat.

Or finding a person that will lend you an ear,
Nobody in the real world knows that you visit here.
Why is that I wonder, what do YOU come here for?
Is it still for the same reason or has that changed from before?

Do you leave for a spell but find yourself coming back?
Were you a victim on here of some verbal attack?
Did life get in the way, did you give it deep thought?
Have you now returned for something else that you once sought?

Maybe you've been here constantly, and it's really not deep!
You waste a bit of time here, and some friendships you keep.
Whenever you're bored, you log back here for a while,
Some threads keep you busy and some make you smile.

For some it might be deeper, a longing for the site,
You've developed relationships, try though you might -
To stay away from here, you can't help it in the end,
You might even prefer it to your actual friends.

Myself, it's a past-time, I started here long ago,
Over 15 years actually and some folk I still know.
It holds a lot of memories, I've changed a lot since those days
So here it is Funky P, an ode to you, my dear mate.

Sarnie's.

It's just gone twelve, and I'm about to have lunch
Stepping away from the desk to check the fridge for some munch!
What will I fancy - I'm on the health kick you see,
A salad, some pasta - not today, not for me!

Nope, I fancy a sarnie (that's sandwich slang cuz),
I love em I do, they just give me a buzz.
Am I using sliced bread, a roll or a bun?
So many options - this is going to be fun.

There's some chicken, some beef, some ham and some cheese,
I could have all of them in a sandwich with ease!
A little butter on the bread, some mayo in play,
Making up a decent sarnie always means a good day!

I do have some bacon, but that's for breakfast you see,
There's even some tuna, but not in a sarnie for me.
I might even pull out the stops, a crisp sarnie - that's the one!
Anyway's I'm now hungry so I really should run!

You're crazy good at poems!

Me and Pete together seems to make people jealous
Sending me messages getting overzealous
Full of quips thinking it could bother us
But its just a game it aint no fuss
Message behind fake accounts acting all cowardly
All it does really is empower me
To scared to use your name its like your afraid
To take me on you best fetch a brigade
Il give you a lashing, complete verbal bashing
You can call it a mashing, a complete true thrashing
Send you off home where your only use is bishop bashing
You send your message and quickly deactivate
Dont want my reply because it would captivate
Or is it because you have a date with a magistrate?
This is nothing its all for fun
Take it well like you do up the bum
Speaking of where is Pete with his shiny rectum???

Pmsl @ that!!

If im away for 5 days or more
Its only because my bum gets sore
But now im healed and ready to rock
Id really like to sit on kirks lap

Keep them coming Gere


Might try one later, its been a while

So, its been a while just like i said
Since ive done a poem on this thread
But be warned, im rusty i wont lie
Still am willing to give it a try

Stuck for a title about what to type
So no bigging it up theres no hype
Lost for words yet im a talker
I know! Lets do one about the stalker!

He/she/they will be so elated
A poem where stalker isnt slated
A kind of riddle maybe a game
Guessing the gender or even the name

This stalker, i have had for many years
Perhaps stalker tried to reduce me to tears
Stalkers decided to message many more
Maybe stalker wants a Funky War!

Stalker says im pathetic wants me to leave
Called me names you wouldn't believe
Said i am fake jealous of Pete an Kirk
Believes Lady Birds me - what a jerk!

Stalker has messaged using different names
Stalker is trying to play mind games
Stalker says all i am is a bore
Yet stalker makes me yawn, say no more

Stalker reads wherever i post
I think stalker, loves me the most
I'll be a priest, come to confession
S'ok my dear to have an obsession

There you go, your next msg i await
Don't disappoint me, tell me it straight
Lets not forget, you called me smart
A compliment awwww touched me heart!








Ok ok s'been ages

Looks like the stalker is pete
Now the riddle is complete
I guess Pete is up the creek
What you get acting like a creep

If Petes the stalker who are you?
I am Kirk and Pitbull too
Am I Hippesville and lady bird?
Surely not thats just absurd!

Thanks

Stalkers

Out of the window did I just see,
Some odd person spying on me?
The bushes are shaking and I heard a strange sound,
There's cigarette butts freshly left on the ground.

I'm getting in the car, another odd noise I hear
My sixth sense tells me that there's someone near.
I turn around quickly but there's nobody there,
This creepiness is something that I just can't bear.

I log into funky and I check the inbox,
Passively scrolling through as I roll off my socks.
Hang on just a moment, who is this message from?
No longer an active user, no sign where they've gone.

Just a creepy message - it must be the same guy,
That hangs around my house and stands outside at night!
Not sure what they want from me, these stalker types of folk,
Day in day out, there always about, it's becoming a bit of a joke!

Of course I am just jesting, why would anyone stalk me?
If you're interested in a chat, just drop me a message see!
But do it all in earnest, be true to your own self,
You might just find, in real good time, there's no need for all the stealth!