Life and maths
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Deleted User
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08:29 Tue 14 Feb 06 (GMT) [Link]
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = Romance
Smart man + dumb woman = Affair
Dumb man + smart woman = Marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = Pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATHS
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS and STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Smart man + smart woman = Romance
Smart man + dumb woman = Affair
Dumb man + smart woman = Marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = Pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATHS
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS and STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Deleted User
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13:28 Tue 14 Feb 06 (GMT) [Link]
HAHAHAHA well done simon thats funnyyyyyyyy
Deleted User
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13:52 Tue 14 Feb 06 (GMT) [Link]
WELL HELLO SIMON !!!!!
Very well laid out, most of it makes sense, bit of a dig at us women!, but overall, very good, made me laugh anyway................Well done
Very well laid out, most of it makes sense, bit of a dig at us women!, but overall, very good, made me laugh anyway................Well done
Deleted User
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15:45 Tue 14 Feb 06 (GMT) [Link]
If only maths was more like that at school. I might have learnt something
16:10 Tue 14 Feb 06 (GMT) [Link]
hehe, likewise. Agreed, the end is superb lol.
Deleted User
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11:49 Wed 15 Feb 06 (GMT) [Link]
That last part was wicked.I heard it before only it was "I can just see you up there soon!"
Yours was better though
Yours was better though
Deleted User
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12:05 Wed 15 Feb 06 (GMT) [Link]
very gd m8
didnt u get them out of a book called
E-TALES
cause ive got the book with those
and its class recommended to nyone whio likes jokes
didnt u get them out of a book called
E-TALES
cause ive got the book with those
and its class recommended to nyone whio likes jokes
Deleted User
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12:36 Wed 15 Feb 06 (GMT) [Link]
Love that simon but where the hell did you find it??
Deleted User
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14:16 Wed 15 Feb 06 (GMT) [Link]
Someone forwarded it to me. For some reason there are a lot of people in this country who it seems are employed to forward on funny e mails. No complaints from me........
Deleted User
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08:40 Mon 6 Mar 06 (GMT) [Link]
sorry thats just college slackers like me who cant be bothered doing any real work!
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Life and maths
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