Alex McLeish was going to the Gers halloween party as a pumpkin.
Come midnight he still hadn't turned into a coach.



Barry 'the Bazman' Ferguson walks into a bar with a pile of dog crap in his hand and says to the bartender...'Look what I nearly trod in!!'



Q: How is a pint of milk different then a hun?
A: If you leave the milk out for a week it develops a culture

u english might not hav got most of them

Before the world cup, a primary school teacher asks her pupils if they want to see England win it. The full class put their hands up except for one girl who says she wants Paraguay, Sweden or Trinidad And Tobago to win. Amazed the teacher asks why, "Well miss my mum and dad are Irish so I'm a Ireland fan too." So the teacher replys "You don't have to be a Ireland fan because you're parents are, if your mum was a prostitute and dad was a junkie that stole and beat up innocent people you wouldn't be like that"
"No miss" the girl says "that would make me a England fan".