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07:07 Sun 24 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Minnesota Women
Q: Why don't they let Minnesota women go out with Wisconsin guys?
A: Have you ever seen a gopher hole after a badger has been in it?
Q: Why don't they let Minnesota women go out with Wisconsin guys?
A: Have you ever seen a gopher hole after a badger has been in it?
07:09 Sun 24 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Three Stupid Wives
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid their wives were.
The Englishman says, ''I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge to keep it in.''
The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker.
''Just last week, she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car,'' he laments, ''and she doesn't even know how to drive!''
The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch.
However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. ''Ah, it kills me everytime I think of it,'' he chuckles. ''My wife left to go on a trip to Greece. I watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there and she doesn't even have a penis!''
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid their wives were.
The Englishman says, ''I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge to keep it in.''
The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker.
''Just last week, she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car,'' he laments, ''and she doesn't even know how to drive!''
The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch.
However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. ''Ah, it kills me everytime I think of it,'' he chuckles. ''My wife left to go on a trip to Greece. I watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there and she doesn't even have a penis!''
11:33 Sun 24 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Fortune 500
What do you get when you cross a fortune teller with a prostitute?
Your whoroscope
What do you get when you cross a fortune teller with a prostitute?
Your whoroscope
11:34 Sun 24 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Men Are Here Because...
Why did God create man?
Because vibrators can't mow the lawn!
Why did God create man?
Because vibrators can't mow the lawn!
11:34 Sun 24 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Occupy This
A man's occupation is to stick his cockulation in a woman's ventilation to increase the population of the younger generation. I got this information from the board of education if you want a demonstration -- LIE DOWN!
A man's occupation is to stick his cockulation in a woman's ventilation to increase the population of the younger generation. I got this information from the board of education if you want a demonstration -- LIE DOWN!
11:37 Sun 24 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Chain Letter for Women Only
This letter was started by a woman, like yourself, in the hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discontended women. Unlike most chain letters, this one does not cost anything. Just send a copy of this letter to five of your friends who are equally frustrated. Then bundle up your husband or partner, and send him to the woman whose name appears on the top of the list, and add your name to the bottom of the list. When your name comes to the top of the list, you will receive 16,877 men! One of them is bound to be a hell of a lot better than the one you already have. Do not break the chain. One woman broke the chain and got the old son-of-a-bitch back again! At this writing, a friend of mine already received 384 men... They buried her yesterday, but it took three undertakers to get the smile off her
This letter was started by a woman, like yourself, in the hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discontended women. Unlike most chain letters, this one does not cost anything. Just send a copy of this letter to five of your friends who are equally frustrated. Then bundle up your husband or partner, and send him to the woman whose name appears on the top of the list, and add your name to the bottom of the list. When your name comes to the top of the list, you will receive 16,877 men! One of them is bound to be a hell of a lot better than the one you already have. Do not break the chain. One woman broke the chain and got the old son-of-a-bitch back again! At this writing, a friend of mine already received 384 men... They buried her yesterday, but it took three undertakers to get the smile off her
11:37 Sun 24 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
face and two days to get her legs together so they could close the coffin. Hurry up and send this letter so my name can move up fast!
11:38 Sun 24 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Prostitiute's Friends
What do you call a buncha women hanging around prostitutes?
Support hos!
What do you call a buncha women hanging around prostitutes?
Support hos!
11:38 Sun 24 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Toe Curl
This couple have just met in a bar, really hit it off and gone back to her place to have wild, passionate sex. After they have finished he lies back with a smug look on his face, "I guess that was just about the best sex you have ever had," he says.
"What makes you say that?" asks the woman.
"Well, every time we did it, I couldn't help notice how it made your toes curl," he explains.
"Oh," says the woman, "that was just because most men wait to take off my pantyhose first."
This couple have just met in a bar, really hit it off and gone back to her place to have wild, passionate sex. After they have finished he lies back with a smug look on his face, "I guess that was just about the best sex you have ever had," he says.
"What makes you say that?" asks the woman.
"Well, every time we did it, I couldn't help notice how it made your toes curl," he explains.
"Oh," says the woman, "that was just because most men wait to take off my pantyhose first."
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13:01 Sun 24 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Q. why is this site called funkypool?
A. because kinkypool was already taken
A. because kinkypool was already taken
15:53 Sun 24 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Two Things In The Air
What two things in the air can make a women pregnant?
Her feet!
What two things in the air can make a women pregnant?
Her feet!
15:54 Sun 24 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
the raiden and up_and_comin joke.
Q: wots the diff beween raiden and up_and_comin
A: with up_and_comin u dont know if his comin or goin for good.
Edited at 20:55 Sun 24/07/05 (BST)
Q: wots the diff beween raiden and up_and_comin
A: with up_and_comin u dont know if his comin or goin for good.
Edited at 20:55 Sun 24/07/05 (BST)
16:10 Sun 24 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
A Hole in the Head
Why does a man's penis have a hole in it?
So he can get oxygen to his brain.
Why does a man's penis have a hole in it?
So he can get oxygen to his brain.
16:12 Sun 24 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Male Strip Club
Q: What do you call a male strip club?
A: A cockpit
Q: What do you call a male strip club?
A: A cockpit
16:13 Sun 24 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Silk Stalkings
What do men and stockings have in common?
They either run, cling, or don't fit in the crotch!
What do men and stockings have in common?
They either run, cling, or don't fit in the crotch!
16:16 Sun 24 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
Six Most Important Men in a Woman's Life
THE DOCTOR because he says ''take your clothes off.''
THE DENTIST because he says ''open wide.''
THE HAIR DRESSER because he says ''do you want them teased or blown?"
THE MILKMAN because he says ''do you want it in the back or in the front?''
THE INTERIOR DECORATOR because he says''once it's in you'll love it.''
THE BANKER because he says ''if you take it out too soon you'll lose interest."
THE DOCTOR because he says ''take your clothes off.''
THE DENTIST because he says ''open wide.''
THE HAIR DRESSER because he says ''do you want them teased or blown?"
THE MILKMAN because he says ''do you want it in the back or in the front?''
THE INTERIOR DECORATOR because he says''once it's in you'll love it.''
THE BANKER because he says ''if you take it out too soon you'll lose interest."
16:17 Sun 24 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
5 Counterproductive Pick-Up Lines
1) If you and I were squirrels, I could bust a nut in your hole.
2) How do you like your eggs: fried, scrambled or fertilized?
3) My love for you is like diarrhea; I just can't hold it in.
4) If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, then could I meet you between the holidays?
5) How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.
1) If you and I were squirrels, I could bust a nut in your hole.
2) How do you like your eggs: fried, scrambled or fertilized?
3) My love for you is like diarrhea; I just can't hold it in.
4) If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, then could I meet you between the holidays?
5) How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.
16:18 Sun 24 Jul 05 (BST) [Link]
The Dynamite Kid
There were these two people in a bar, a boy and a girl. They started talking and decided to go back to the guy's house. When they got there the man took off his shirt and said, ''This is 1,000 pounds of dynamite.''
The girl was sweating.
Then he took off his pants and said, ''This is another 1,000 pounds of dynamite.''
By now, the girl wanted to jump on him. Then he took off his boxers and the girl started to run for the door.
The guy asked, ''Whats wrong? Where are you going?''
The girl said ''With 2,000 pounds fo dynamite and such a short fuse, I thought you were going to blow.''
There were these two people in a bar, a boy and a girl. They started talking and decided to go back to the guy's house. When they got there the man took off his shirt and said, ''This is 1,000 pounds of dynamite.''
The girl was sweating.
Then he took off his pants and said, ''This is another 1,000 pounds of dynamite.''
By now, the girl wanted to jump on him. Then he took off his boxers and the girl started to run for the door.
The guy asked, ''Whats wrong? Where are you going?''
The girl said ''With 2,000 pounds fo dynamite and such a short fuse, I thought you were going to blow.''
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