To the random person who messages me once in a while & tells ppl im a 50 yr old bloke

My names Paula, but could be a Paul
Im short in height, but could be tall

My hair is blonde, but could be brown
Size three feet, or as big as a clowns

With eyes of blue sparkling bright
Or are they as dark as the night

An here is the really strange bit
I believe some actually think im Pit!

So you decide, think what you may
Because I dont care either way

Dun Dun Dun

Last three poems done by me,
Cos you lot are just slacking
Come on ppl gizza rhyme
Or when im here the next time
I'll bring me shoe and start whacking!!!!!

Multiple accounts, personalities to suit
Am I feeling gracious, or twitching for a mute
Keep it respectful, or nasty and rude
Which account shall I login to reflect my mood
Brunette, blonde, or dark as a black birds coat
These are the questions I have to take note
Hung like a horse or petite cute frame
Its no big deal when your f****** insane
Dont fear dear friend, of your new found knowledge
Im a cyb3r hybrid whos into carnage
But the hardest question for me by far
Is when you talk about removing my boxers and bra.

CREDITS
Written by Paula
Published by Pete

Ha ha ha ha!

Oh god do you get it too?
Ppl talking about me & you
Were not individuals we are the same
Just the one person 2 diff names!
Well if im you an you are me
Your shoe size must be size three!
I must have hair really dark
An i also must be a nark!
Someones assuming PNP
Is the same person...you or me?


Who are ya???

Edited at 00:39 Thu 01/08/19 (BST)

Just one more


Am i Paula or am i Pete?
Do i really have size 3 feet?
Am i a woman or a male?
Is my skin dark or fairy pale?

Is my hair short neat and black?
Or blonde & right down my back?
Am I muscular with a tanned glow?
Or quite slender an hardly grow?

Have i got gorgeous dark brown eyes?
Or piercing blue which mesmerise?
Do i jog on the street or hit the gym?
Tell me am i me or him...

Answer the Q's up above
An I'll tell u straight me love
Or keep playing ur silly game
Of assuming though its lame..!!!



Love from P or P

Three whole days
Not a single word
Blisssssss lol

Three more days
Not a word
Change ya ways
Its just absurd
Threads getting boring
No one posting
I'll end up snoring
Rather be boasting

Another hot one, eyes gone
Tops gone, got my sweat on
Work through the burn
Push through the heat
Im all ringing wet, its drippin to my feet
Mouths on fire, chilli in my throat
Steam out my ears
Rolling from my tears
Passing yeah, I fear it
When Im loaded on scotch bonnets
Get me some f***ing milk!

Scotch bonnets have got to your head
Have a think, while your lying in bed
Look at the sitch through my eyes
Then maybe just maybe you'll realise
That im not the one in the wrong
Its really has been you all along
Im saying it here so we dont row
Cos via message we'll fight somehow

The forums are quiet
And im quite loud
D'ya think if i sing,
It'll draw in a crowd?


Asking for a friend.

A friend you have, his name is Pit
Lets sing a song, a summer hit
Clasp my hand, lets dance away
Wont let you fall, Im here to stay

Ta- daaaaah

Oh he cant sing he only growls
Unless hes had his grub
So give him a bone
Then he wont moan
He might sing like hes in a pub

You neednt talk, you table top dancer
Think you sound soulful, when the vodkas in ya
Screeching your pipes, trying to hit sweet notes
While your locals are leaving, grabbing their coats!

Pmsl!

At least ive got moves an can dance
Not like you who can only prance
And when you drink ya end up drunk
Play fight an break ya wrist, you punk!

Im tired after a 12 hour shift
No time at all to let my mind drift
Tending to everyone elses needs
Has left me shattered 'tas indeed
So me and my little sleepyhead
Wont be long till we hit my bed

*Yawns*

I thought about you last night
When i lay on upon my bed
Thinking of the old times
Of everything that was said
Days when we'd go back a page
Literally to just read back
Seeing if anyone's mentioned us
Or in case we'd missed some craic
One time it was a lovely place
People posted there all day long
Some would post about their day
Others would burst into song!
Yet now im left to wonder
If its a sign an end of an era
Or if its nothing specific
And we still converse on here
So from this forum junkie
Alls i want to say is that.....
Im really gunna miss ya
My old mate General Chat!

Im lying on an air bed
Under canvas late at night
So peaceful without Paula
Dont have to listen to her shight
Peaceful with the sound of waves
The air so fresh and sweet
No nasty niffs or dodgy pongs
Or stinky size 3 feet

You'll miss the feet when i go
If they stink or not
I wont say it twice
Youd better be nice
Or the size 3 aims for ur bot!

Its so quiet, cannot hear a peep
So why am I finding it hard to sleep
Ive tried the old one counting sheep
If this continues I'll really weep

Woke this morning
Howling wind
Gig tent nailed
Gonna be binned